Things come full circle again,
am I that girl still?
Fifteen and wrapped with insecurities,
Stale cigarettes and tired melodies,
nostalgic outings of the mind,
reality's come and gone and lost.
Somewhere in time. . . .
Frenzied and reckless,
sitting here again and wondering,"why"?
Still have the scars on my arm,
I can see them in the setting sun,
and there's still a few beneath.
When did I last bend my knees?
How did I arrive here so embittered?
Did I ever have a chance?
On the outside I am "mama","honey",
ordinary citizen, bordering on mundane,
inside I am that girl again.
Polished skin and tarnished heart,
tough and soft, all at once,
Is there anyone to hold me?
I run my hands through someone else's tangles,
and wipe away someone else's tears,
catching them midway,
as if to say they never existed.
I hold my own till night falls.
I am still a child inside.
When did everyone decide it was ok
to rely on me?
Sometimes it seems like there is a secret audience,
watching me fail.
Maybe I imagine that to be God.
I'm still sitting on the train tracks with
an Arizona tea and a blow pop in hand,
staring in the eyes of love,
watching a tired woman and her children,
and vowing to never become her.
And yet I have...
I'm picking up used cigarettes off the dirty
streets like candy,
I'm dreaming that everything is about to change,
that I am teetering on the edge of ecstasy.
I'm sitting in drainage pipes,singing songs to God,
I'm pouring equal parts of ink and blood on paper.
I'm cradling my guitar, that now lies in dust..
I am free,unchained, and only slightly jaded.
Ah,the gifts of youth,when ignorance was bliss.
I am naive and foolish.
I am her all over again.
There's always more then meets the eye..
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Framed and Dried
I remember the two butterflies encircling our heads while we kissed,
do you?
I remember sitting there in the dried grass,
and the sun beating down on our heads,
on a summer day.
I remember the innocence of our passion.
I remember you asked if I could see them too,
as we briefly opened our eyes to take a breath.
Maybe they were you and I,in a different time.
Perhaps they were God's prophets from heaven.
I remember your lips and the taste of your mouth,
as they fluttered around a love so unprepared for tragedy.
"And is it right, butterfly?
They like you better framed and dried"
They pinned us down didn't they? They had their nets of reason and doubt.
It'd be more peaceful if they could just clip our wings,
contain our beauty,
and mount us on a wall somewhere.
Once framed and dried,
we can hang silently,
preserved in faded colors.
Motionless and trapped in time,
unmoving and forever changed.
Never to be in flight again...
Where is the garden that once nourished us?
Where has the flower of our love gone to?
Surely they've forgotten how beautiful we once were . ..
Can death compare to life?
They like us better framed and dried.
I hope they are happy now...
do you?
I remember sitting there in the dried grass,
and the sun beating down on our heads,
on a summer day.
I remember the innocence of our passion.
I remember you asked if I could see them too,
as we briefly opened our eyes to take a breath.
Maybe they were you and I,in a different time.
Perhaps they were God's prophets from heaven.
I remember your lips and the taste of your mouth,
as they fluttered around a love so unprepared for tragedy.
"And is it right, butterfly?
They like you better framed and dried"
They pinned us down didn't they? They had their nets of reason and doubt.
It'd be more peaceful if they could just clip our wings,
contain our beauty,
and mount us on a wall somewhere.
Once framed and dried,
we can hang silently,
preserved in faded colors.
Motionless and trapped in time,
unmoving and forever changed.
Never to be in flight again...
Where is the garden that once nourished us?
Where has the flower of our love gone to?
Surely they've forgotten how beautiful we once were . ..
Can death compare to life?
They like us better framed and dried.
I hope they are happy now...
Saturday, April 11, 2009
It's Been Years Now My Love
It's been years now my love.
Why are you standing here?
I have been to your funeral a thousand times.
I have already lowered you into the cold earth of reality.
I have left my sentiments like roses by your grave.
I have covered your face and closed your eyes with my own hands.
I've embalmed you in the corners of my mind and I've enshrined you
in the depths of my heart.
So why are you standing here love?
I have visited your grave and said my final farewell.
Do I not deserve to rest myself?
Though your shallow grave holds you for this moment,
I've held you in my thoughts a thousand times.
I have moved the earth above you with the flood of my own tears.
The memory of you is resurrected in my mind.
I bury you time and again.
I've clothed myself in black,
and allowed myself to grieve.
I've fed myself to full and drank my wine to be merry once more.
I've known laughter without you,and I've seen beauty apart from your memory.
Still,you never rest in peace,
and it seems I will never be at peace with your rest.
Like someone gone mad,in the earth of my mind,I bury you every day.
But I can never bury you deep enough.
I fear you will never die.
Will the ghost of you ever cease to exists?
Will I forever be haunted by the warmth of our last kiss?
The love we had together refuses to breathe its last,as if it is immortal.
The memories themselves are conspiring against me,
ignoring the reality of time.
All of you remains love.
I have no strength to bury you again- but I must.
As I lower you into the cold earth,
I will only take a few steps away,
before I turn around and see you standing there again.
And I can hear my own voice asking,
"How are you still so alive?"
Why are you standing here?
I have been to your funeral a thousand times.
I have already lowered you into the cold earth of reality.
I have left my sentiments like roses by your grave.
I have covered your face and closed your eyes with my own hands.
I've embalmed you in the corners of my mind and I've enshrined you
in the depths of my heart.
So why are you standing here love?
I have visited your grave and said my final farewell.
Do I not deserve to rest myself?
Though your shallow grave holds you for this moment,
I've held you in my thoughts a thousand times.
I have moved the earth above you with the flood of my own tears.
The memory of you is resurrected in my mind.
I bury you time and again.
I've clothed myself in black,
and allowed myself to grieve.
I've fed myself to full and drank my wine to be merry once more.
I've known laughter without you,and I've seen beauty apart from your memory.
Still,you never rest in peace,
and it seems I will never be at peace with your rest.
Like someone gone mad,in the earth of my mind,I bury you every day.
But I can never bury you deep enough.
I fear you will never die.
Will the ghost of you ever cease to exists?
Will I forever be haunted by the warmth of our last kiss?
The love we had together refuses to breathe its last,as if it is immortal.
The memories themselves are conspiring against me,
ignoring the reality of time.
All of you remains love.
I have no strength to bury you again- but I must.
As I lower you into the cold earth,
I will only take a few steps away,
before I turn around and see you standing there again.
And I can hear my own voice asking,
"How are you still so alive?"
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The Lark~ Kate Rusby
Out in the field where the lark it flies,
Over the earth where my heart it lies,
Oh how it sings when the west wind blows,
Out in the field where no-one goes.
Oh how I'm cold will you let me in,
If you could hear me speak, where I would begin,
Time it is past now and I roam free,
Is it wrong to wish you still need me,
is it wrong to wish you still need me.
Out in the field where the lark it sings,
There I was waiting for all love brings,
There I stood and there I fell,
Out in the field that I know well.
Oh how I'm cold will you let me in,
If you could hear me speak, where I would begin,
Time it is past now and I roam free,
Is it wrong to wish you still need me,
is it wrong to wish you still need me.
Out in the field where the lark resides,
Here I'll remain where my heart can hide,
Only the lark and the west wind know,
I'm in this field where no-one goes.
Oh how I'm cold will you let me in,
If you could hear me speak, where I would begin,
Time it is past now and I roam free,
Is it wrong to wish you still need me,
is it wrong to wish you still need me
Over the earth where my heart it lies,
Oh how it sings when the west wind blows,
Out in the field where no-one goes.
Oh how I'm cold will you let me in,
If you could hear me speak, where I would begin,
Time it is past now and I roam free,
Is it wrong to wish you still need me,
is it wrong to wish you still need me.
Out in the field where the lark it sings,
There I was waiting for all love brings,
There I stood and there I fell,
Out in the field that I know well.
Oh how I'm cold will you let me in,
If you could hear me speak, where I would begin,
Time it is past now and I roam free,
Is it wrong to wish you still need me,
is it wrong to wish you still need me.
Out in the field where the lark resides,
Here I'll remain where my heart can hide,
Only the lark and the west wind know,
I'm in this field where no-one goes.
Oh how I'm cold will you let me in,
If you could hear me speak, where I would begin,
Time it is past now and I roam free,
Is it wrong to wish you still need me,
is it wrong to wish you still need me
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The African Way
I still remember when I was 19 years old,kicking back in an air conditioned movie theater in Southern California and proclaiming to my then future husband(unbeknownest to me),that when I "grew up" I was going to go to Africa and marry an African tribal chief.Laughable and naive maybe, but I have always had a fascination and love for Africa and African people.Maybe its because as a child I grew up with many African Americans and befriended many along the way. In co-existing with my black friends as a young girl,the barriers that might have been in place else where in the world, were no where to be found at my elementary school on the out skirts of Philadelphia.In the early 90's I was listening to Jazzy Jazz and the Funky Bunch,and songs like Tennessee by Arrested Development,and my favorite beat from back in the day, Cool Like That by Digable Planets,Cantaloop Flip Fantasia,by US3,and Scenario by Tribe Called Quest.I developed a love for old school, hip-hop,jazz.
Yes, its all coming back to me now, the black girls at recess were either combing my hair on the concrete steps,using their pics- or in the process of beating me up. I became more a part of their culture then my own white suburban culture, which failed to completely mold me into the custom image of what a white girl should talk about and look like.I felt a little diversified at the tender age of twelve. Until I moved to Mars, Pennsylvania which seemed to lack not only African American influence, but diversity its self.
So getting back to my affair with African culture,obviously I never quite made it to an African village. I always wanted to get involved in mission's to Sudan as well, until I grew up and realized how terribly dangerous and crazy it was to go there. Fear beset me and after missions solely to Asia I let my determination to be a missionary- especially to Africa- go . . . But somebody re-awakened my thoughts of Africa and the suffering there, a few months ago. . .
Last September I went to a show in Portland with my friend Rachael to see Michael Franti, who is a brilliant artist from Oakland, California. Unexpectedly when the opening artist came out I was captivated instantly. I didn't even know his name. All I saw was a very dark skinned man, with a top hat, and beautiful eyes, singing profound lyrics that completely gripped my heart and soul.I caught myself holding my breath as he translated his story to us of life in Somalia. The vivid pictures he painted of the suffering of his people and his life brought me to tears. He was the "dusty foot philosopher", K'naan. He rapped poetry and sang of oppression in a new light, a fresh perspective, set apart from mainstream rappers who sing of their "gangsta" ways. It was clear this man truly knew suffering, and it wasn't about sexual frustration because he couldn't get a girl at a club the night before,or had no money to buy a "grill". No, it was obvious this man had something much deeper to bring to the table. Like children on the streets of Somalia with guns in hand and fear of the pirates that terrorized his land. He sang about immigrating to America in the early 90's and his observations of the American way, compared to the African way. His lyrics brought to shame those that proclaim to be "gangsta" and "ghetto" as he brought to life stories of a truer "ghetto" in Somalia. One in which people are oppressed and violence is a part of every day life. Where people are so thin there is no need for "lypo",and "tummy tucks",as he sings in his song Somalia. In comparison to life in Africa, hard times here seems to be a walk in the park. It's clear that American life appears to be very selfish and ego-centric in light of the suffering overseas.Our children walk around with army men as a toy, but the children in Africa walk around with Ak-47's as a weapon with the power to kill. Our women worry about gaining a few pounds of weight, while their women worry about their next bite to eat.We worry about watering our lawns to keep our grass green, they wonder if they can find clean water to live.I was reminded again to stay in touch with the suffering of the world. K'naan taught me something new, because honestly I wasn't giving Somalia too much thought before I heard him. Now Somalia is in my heart and I am amazed at the beauty of the people and I am ashamed at the selfishness and greed of the average American, and I hope I can live my life set apart from that. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to the suffering of others.Getting back to the K'naan concert-last night I danced for an hour straight, the bass pulsing through my body and the lyrics of K'naan gripping my heart. I didn't care that I was packed in like a sardine or that the guy next to me was shouting in my ear and blowing clouds of marijuana in my face, I was so thrilled to just to be there. After words while waiting in the bitter cold to get a glimpse of K'naan I actually was able to get on the tour bus and talk to him a little myself. I was the last person to greet him. I passed up the usual handshake and reached out and gave him a huge hug. I thanked him for coming to our country and sharing his stories with us. I thanked him for his music and lyrics and I told him he had made me cry the first time I saw him, I told him I was honored to be there as well. It wasn't that I was merely star-struck. I was just very grateful, that I had the privilege to meet this amazing artist who so intelligently laces words and ideas together, knitting together a beautiful story of overcoming oppression and finding truth and love in the process. I felt that K'naan was a very gentle spirit and humble at that, which only makes me respect him all the more. I will never think of Somalia the same way again and last night was a night I won't soon forget.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Heaven
Heaven is a colorful quilt, faded by the summers sunshine, beating down upon its threads every day. Until night falls, I sit upon the quilt in an open meadow, filled with wild flowers of every sort. Poppies and queen anne's lace,bluebell's and foxglove mingle together creating a Monet.Daisy's and black- eyed susan's dance in the wind.The branches of the trees surrounding me are like open arms, ready to hold me as if I were a child.The voice of someone long ago echos in my ears. I realize they are sitting beside me.Stories of long ago and realizations of why it all came to pass the way it did. Why did my life look that way? Why... And now I know. Its a warm feeling, a blanket of peace that covers me, harmonies and rhythms move me. Maybe its the banjo or the fiddle that I hear and I lay back on the grass and stare into this endless sky. Voices adrift in the air sing me to sleep. The voices sing to me like a woman singing over her child. She is leaning over me, strong,soft and warm, running her weathered hands through the strands of my hair.I shiver as she strokes me, as if I've just cried for hours and these are the shudders my soul let's out. My soul says, "it is done".I am home.God is all around me. Every breath I breathe in is God, and every breath I exhale is God. I finally know. All questions are silenced or otherwise forgotten in the knowledge of His glory and love. The tragedies I once knew are like blurry dreams, from a restless nights sleep.I have just awoken to reality. The meadow is quiet.Birds gently fly above me,singing eternal lullabies of peace. The trees above me are swaying. The leaves rustling in the summer breeze. Heaven is eternal summer. The kind of summer day you never want to end.Like Alaska in June. The sun is there, even at midnight. The endless day is filled with mystery and warmth, delight and peace. Something is in the air and you don't know where it will lead. . . You only know the feeling will last forever...
Friday, February 27, 2009
So how does one who has been raised in a conservative Christian background suddenly embrace the practices and teaching's of a Zen Master like Thich Naht Hanh? It has been a process, and no, I have not converted to Buddhism. But several months ago, intrigued with the life of a fellow Christian, who claimed that Thich Naht Hanh's books were the only reason he could continue as a Christian, had me wondering just what this man had to say. I found myself beginning to read the writings of Thich Naht Hanh myself. Just today I finished Being Peace. I have also read For a Future to be Possible, and I am currently finishing up his book Anger .
At first I had some ambivalence about diving into ideas so contrary to my own beliefs and background. Yet as I began to read I was struck by the simplicity, yet power behind the ideas of this simple Buddhist monk from Vietnam, and I found myself not only comforted but uplifted by his words. While I approached these readings with caution, guarding my faith in Christ and the theology I have long put my faith in, there was a part of my that let go of the many fears I had of another faith other then mine. I saw a bumper sticker on the back of someones car the other day that said "Christian- not close minded". That rings true with me as well.
I hate to even allude to the fact that I am a Christian at times, because of all the connotations that brings to others who have only seen TBN and the shameful behavior of those who claim to follow Christ. So I have been on somewhat of a spiritual journey these past several months, discovering how I see Christ and searching for the way to reflect Christ in my every day life.
With all that being said and much more to say, today I was reading these practices of mindful living. I was very encouraged by these simple reflections and I can only hope to live up to them.
While I disagree with some of the practices (namely the first two, to an extent) I do see a lot of truth and beauty in these practices. So for today I would like to just reflect on them and see how I can bring these practices into my own life . . . .
1. Openness~Aware of the suffering created by fanaticism and intolerance, I am determined not to be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory or ideology, even Buddhist ones. Buddhist teachings are guiding means to help me learn to look deeply and to develop my understanding and compassion. They are not doctrines to fight, kill or die for.
(As a Christian I cannot fully agree with this. While I believe in being tolerant of others, I am bound to the truth of God's holy word as written in the Bible, which I am still exploring. And I would die for what I believe, yet I would never fight or kill in the name of God.)
2. Non-attachment to Views~Aware of suffering created by attachment to views and wrong perceptions, I am determined to avoid being narrow-minded and bound to present views. I will learn and practise non-attachment from views in order to be open to others’ insights and experiences. I am aware that the knowledge I presently possess is not changeless, absolute truth. Truth is found in life and I will observe life within and around me in every moment, ready to learn throughout my life.
( I believe there in absolute truth in the universe and God is the same, yesterday, today and forever. However I can always be open to learn and be open minded to others thoughts and believes but that doesn't mean I will agree.)
3. Freedom of Thought ~Aware of the suffering brought about when I impose my views on others, I am committed not to force others, even my children, by any means whatsoever – such as authority, threat, money, propaganda or indoctrination – to adopt my views. I will respect the right of others to be different and to choose what to believe and how to decide. I will, however, help others renounce fanaticism and narrowness through compassionate dialogue.
4. Awareness of Suffering~Aware that looking deeply at the nature of suffering can help me develop compassion and find ways out of suffering, I am determined not to avoid or close my eyes before suffering. I am committed to finding ways, including personal contact, images and sounds, to be with those who suffer, so I can understand their situation deeply and help them transform their suffering into compassion, peace and joy.
5. Simple, Healthy Living~Aware that true happiness is rooted in peace, solidity, freedom and compassion, and not in wealth or fame, I am determined not to take as the aim of my life fame, profit, wealth or sensual pleasure, nor to accumulate wealth while millions are hungry and dying. I am committed to living simply and sharing my time, energy and material resources with those in real need. I will practise mindful consuming, not using alcohol, drugs or any other products that bring toxins into my own and the collective body and consciousness.
6. Dealing with Anger~Aware that anger blocks communication and creates suffering, I am determined to take care of the energy of anger when it arises and to recognise and transform the seeds of anger that lie deep in my consciousness. When anger comes up, I am determined not to do or say anything, but to practise mindful breathing or mindful walking and acknowledge, embrace and look deeply into my anger. I will learn to look with the eyes of compassion on those I think are the cause of my anger.
7. Dwelling Happily in the Present Moment~Aware that life is available only in the present moment and that it is possible to live happily in the here and now, I am committed to training myself to live deeply each moment of daily life. I will try not to lose myself in dispersion or be carried away by regrets about the past, worries about the future, or craving, anger or jealousy in the present. I will practise mindful breathing to come back to what is happening in the present moment. I am determined to learn the art of mindful living by touching the wondrous, refreshing and healing elements that are inside and around me, and by nourishing seeds of joy, peace, love and understanding in myself, thus facilitating the work of transformation and healing in my consciousness.
8. Community and Communication~Aware that lack of communication always brings separation and suffering, I am committed to training myself in the practice of compassionate listening and loving speech. I will learn to listen deeply without judging or reacting and refrain from uttering words that can create discord or cause the community to break. I will make every effort to keep communications open and to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.
9. Truthful and Loving Speech~Aware that words can create suffering or happiness, I am committed to learning to speak truthfully and constructively, using only words that inspire hope and confidence. I am determined not to say untruthful things for the sake of personal interest or to impress people, nor to utter words that might cause division or hatred. I will not spread news that I do not know to be certain nor criticise or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will do my best to speak out about situations of injustice, even when doing so may threaten my safety.
10. Protecting the Sangha~Aware that the essence and aim of a Sangha is the practise of understanding and compassion, I am determined not to use the Buddhist community for personal gain or profit or transform our community into a political instrument. A spiritual community should, however, take a clear stand against oppression and injustice and should strive to change the situation without engaging in partisan conflicts.
11. Right Livelihood~Aware that great violence and injustice have been done to the environment and society, I am committed not to live with a vocation that is harmful to humans and nature. I will do my best to select a livelihood that helps realize my ideal of understanding and compassion. Aware of global economic, political and social realities, I will behave responsibly as a consumer and as a citizen, not investing in companies that deprive others of their chance to live.
12. Reverence for Life~Aware that much suffering is caused by war and conflict, I am determined to cultivate non-violence, understanding and compassion in my daily life, to promote peace education, mindful mediation and reconciliation, within families, communities, nations and in the world. I am determined not to kill and not to let others kill. I will diligently practice deep looking with my Sangha to discover better ways to protect life and prevent war.
13. Generosity~Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing and oppression, I am committed to cultivating loving kindness and learning ways to work for the well-being of people, animals, plants and minerals. I will practice generosity by sharing my time, energy and material resources with those who are in need. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others. I will respect the property of others, but will try to prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other beings.
At first I had some ambivalence about diving into ideas so contrary to my own beliefs and background. Yet as I began to read I was struck by the simplicity, yet power behind the ideas of this simple Buddhist monk from Vietnam, and I found myself not only comforted but uplifted by his words. While I approached these readings with caution, guarding my faith in Christ and the theology I have long put my faith in, there was a part of my that let go of the many fears I had of another faith other then mine. I saw a bumper sticker on the back of someones car the other day that said "Christian- not close minded". That rings true with me as well.
I hate to even allude to the fact that I am a Christian at times, because of all the connotations that brings to others who have only seen TBN and the shameful behavior of those who claim to follow Christ. So I have been on somewhat of a spiritual journey these past several months, discovering how I see Christ and searching for the way to reflect Christ in my every day life.
With all that being said and much more to say, today I was reading these practices of mindful living. I was very encouraged by these simple reflections and I can only hope to live up to them.
While I disagree with some of the practices (namely the first two, to an extent) I do see a lot of truth and beauty in these practices. So for today I would like to just reflect on them and see how I can bring these practices into my own life . . . .
1. Openness~Aware of the suffering created by fanaticism and intolerance, I am determined not to be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory or ideology, even Buddhist ones. Buddhist teachings are guiding means to help me learn to look deeply and to develop my understanding and compassion. They are not doctrines to fight, kill or die for.
(As a Christian I cannot fully agree with this. While I believe in being tolerant of others, I am bound to the truth of God's holy word as written in the Bible, which I am still exploring. And I would die for what I believe, yet I would never fight or kill in the name of God.)
2. Non-attachment to Views~Aware of suffering created by attachment to views and wrong perceptions, I am determined to avoid being narrow-minded and bound to present views. I will learn and practise non-attachment from views in order to be open to others’ insights and experiences. I am aware that the knowledge I presently possess is not changeless, absolute truth. Truth is found in life and I will observe life within and around me in every moment, ready to learn throughout my life.
( I believe there in absolute truth in the universe and God is the same, yesterday, today and forever. However I can always be open to learn and be open minded to others thoughts and believes but that doesn't mean I will agree.)
3. Freedom of Thought ~Aware of the suffering brought about when I impose my views on others, I am committed not to force others, even my children, by any means whatsoever – such as authority, threat, money, propaganda or indoctrination – to adopt my views. I will respect the right of others to be different and to choose what to believe and how to decide. I will, however, help others renounce fanaticism and narrowness through compassionate dialogue.
4. Awareness of Suffering~Aware that looking deeply at the nature of suffering can help me develop compassion and find ways out of suffering, I am determined not to avoid or close my eyes before suffering. I am committed to finding ways, including personal contact, images and sounds, to be with those who suffer, so I can understand their situation deeply and help them transform their suffering into compassion, peace and joy.
5. Simple, Healthy Living~Aware that true happiness is rooted in peace, solidity, freedom and compassion, and not in wealth or fame, I am determined not to take as the aim of my life fame, profit, wealth or sensual pleasure, nor to accumulate wealth while millions are hungry and dying. I am committed to living simply and sharing my time, energy and material resources with those in real need. I will practise mindful consuming, not using alcohol, drugs or any other products that bring toxins into my own and the collective body and consciousness.
6. Dealing with Anger~Aware that anger blocks communication and creates suffering, I am determined to take care of the energy of anger when it arises and to recognise and transform the seeds of anger that lie deep in my consciousness. When anger comes up, I am determined not to do or say anything, but to practise mindful breathing or mindful walking and acknowledge, embrace and look deeply into my anger. I will learn to look with the eyes of compassion on those I think are the cause of my anger.
7. Dwelling Happily in the Present Moment~Aware that life is available only in the present moment and that it is possible to live happily in the here and now, I am committed to training myself to live deeply each moment of daily life. I will try not to lose myself in dispersion or be carried away by regrets about the past, worries about the future, or craving, anger or jealousy in the present. I will practise mindful breathing to come back to what is happening in the present moment. I am determined to learn the art of mindful living by touching the wondrous, refreshing and healing elements that are inside and around me, and by nourishing seeds of joy, peace, love and understanding in myself, thus facilitating the work of transformation and healing in my consciousness.
8. Community and Communication~Aware that lack of communication always brings separation and suffering, I am committed to training myself in the practice of compassionate listening and loving speech. I will learn to listen deeply without judging or reacting and refrain from uttering words that can create discord or cause the community to break. I will make every effort to keep communications open and to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.
9. Truthful and Loving Speech~Aware that words can create suffering or happiness, I am committed to learning to speak truthfully and constructively, using only words that inspire hope and confidence. I am determined not to say untruthful things for the sake of personal interest or to impress people, nor to utter words that might cause division or hatred. I will not spread news that I do not know to be certain nor criticise or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will do my best to speak out about situations of injustice, even when doing so may threaten my safety.
10. Protecting the Sangha~Aware that the essence and aim of a Sangha is the practise of understanding and compassion, I am determined not to use the Buddhist community for personal gain or profit or transform our community into a political instrument. A spiritual community should, however, take a clear stand against oppression and injustice and should strive to change the situation without engaging in partisan conflicts.
11. Right Livelihood~Aware that great violence and injustice have been done to the environment and society, I am committed not to live with a vocation that is harmful to humans and nature. I will do my best to select a livelihood that helps realize my ideal of understanding and compassion. Aware of global economic, political and social realities, I will behave responsibly as a consumer and as a citizen, not investing in companies that deprive others of their chance to live.
12. Reverence for Life~Aware that much suffering is caused by war and conflict, I am determined to cultivate non-violence, understanding and compassion in my daily life, to promote peace education, mindful mediation and reconciliation, within families, communities, nations and in the world. I am determined not to kill and not to let others kill. I will diligently practice deep looking with my Sangha to discover better ways to protect life and prevent war.
13. Generosity~Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing and oppression, I am committed to cultivating loving kindness and learning ways to work for the well-being of people, animals, plants and minerals. I will practice generosity by sharing my time, energy and material resources with those who are in need. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others. I will respect the property of others, but will try to prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other beings.
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